Now. Perth.

I’m currently in Perth, Western Australia and I know my Mam and Dad will have something to say about what I’m about to write here but life is just starting to feel too ‘normal’. I’m so over it (as the Aussies would say) and ready to bail! Commuting to work on the same bus (bus wanker), working in an office for 8 hours a day, going to the gym, having my tea, having a teeny bit of me time, going to bed, getting drunk most weekends then wondering why I ever wasted my time going out… AM I BACK AT HOME?? It’s pretty nippy here now too so I could definitely be back in the Toon! I say nippy, its like 18 degrees but that is cold to me now!  Sooo, in true Laurie Moses style (when I get bored with something, I move on), this is my last few days in Perth and I fly to Darwin on Tuesday with my friend Aimee. Sunshine every day, new place, new people, new start. Sun chaser. HAPPY DAYS!!

I think I need to tell you about my friend Aimee or ‘Stoykes’,  as I will refer to her as in this blog many times. In fact, I’m not even sure her name is Amiee anymore as she is just Stoykes to me! Anyway, I do know her from back in England and we came to Australia separately but we’ve grown very close over here whilst in Perth and she’s a little gem! Her name is actually Aimee Skoyles but my friend ended up calling her Aimee Stoykes by accident a while back and of course it stuck. It’s such a good word! It’s also made life easier for me, naming her Stoykes. She can’t really see past the end of her nose you see and regularly leaves the house without her contacts in, so shouting STOYKES points her in the right direction. It’s also a very easy word to say, saving me a syllable in effort and it’s rather enjoyable to make up songs using the word Stoykes too… So yes, from now on it’s going to be me and Stoykes. Or STOYKESES (Stoykes and Moses).



So back to where I am now… I’ve been in Perth since the beginning of March and I’m still trying to get over the fact that it took me 5 hours to fly here from Brisbane! WTF?! This country is absolutely MASSIVE!!!!! I could get to Egypt from home in that time! Flabbergasted. One of my greatest and most ridiculous friends, Ami (too many Amy’s) and her boyfriend have been kind enough to put me up this whole time. THANKS SO MUCH! I don’t know what I would have done without you… I’ve been working for the government in a ‘cruisy’ (the Aussie term for chilled) little office in Fremantle with some absolutely lovely people. It’s upsetting to think that I might never see some of the people I have met here again but that’s part and parcel of travelling and I’ve felt like this every time I’ve left somewhere actually so I really need to man up! I’m just lucky to have crossed paths with some of the most amazingly positive, inspiring, friendly, funny (I LOVE funny people), absolutely ridiculous and borderline insane people in the past 8 months. Thank God for social networks! Ah and before I get off the subject of work and fantastic people, I have to mention my ‘wee Scottish pal’ Nicola Tooey who I’ve became close with through work. She’s so Scottish that someone on the phone thought she said her surname was 2A!!! That’s all. I hope you found it as funny as I did…

In my last post I mentioned the wave incidents; well the funniest and most memorable occasion had to have happened here at Scarborough Beach when me and Stoykes (see how Styokes is so easy to write…), we went for a casual paddle in the ocean. However, we had absolutely no idea of how strong the current and waves were and we were soon holding hands to keep each other standing and possibly laughing the hardest I ever have (and everyone knows my laugh isn’t exactly quiet). My laughing got even more out of control when I witnessed Stoykes get absolutely wiped out by one wave and whiz past me face down and arms and legs all over the place, frantically searching for the surface! Dear me, I couldn’t breathe! I shouldn’t have laughed though because once she was back on her feet we both were immediately assassinated by a wave that I swear was the size of a house. It felt like I fought for ages to find oxygen again and once I did (in a confused state and with all of my bits out, obviously), Stoykes, who was still struggling to surface, crashed into me in a Stoykes’ face to my naked bum incident! At this point I was laughing so hard that no noise was coming out and I was bent over smacking my own legs (don’t worry, I’d pulled my bikini bottoms up at this point). We both lost our sunglasses in that wave but I’d say it was worth it. Luckily though, I managed to retain my head scarf that I was wearing as a hair band to disguise my recently botched home bleach job. I literally looked like I’d dipped my head into a creme egg. Ahhhh I really wish it was all on camera because I’ve actually just LOLed typing all of that!

I’ve also learned how to fish! Well, sort of. I thought it would be really boring and I’d be sitting there for hours twiddling my thumbs so the idea never interested me. The first time I ever went though, I sat myself down thinking I’d be waiting a while for a bite but as soon as I got comfy, some absolute monster started chewing away and it was pulling so hard that I was close to being dragged into the water!! It was a bigg’n! Unfortunately the little bugger got away but I was absolutely buzzing about what just happened and from then on I was hooked. Pun intended (Sorry, that was terrible)! Me and Ami (house mate Ami, this could get confusing) stayed out for hours and caught two fish each! You can imagine my excitement…Ami had to tell me to keep my voice down. Not bad for my first time though eh? The kids beside me were catching sharks, squid and all sorts. All this was very new to me! You don’t get these in the Tyne! There were any amounts of ‘Eeeeeeeeeee’s’ coming out of my mouth! “Eeeeee I’ve got one!” “Eeeee what do I do now??” “Eeeeee look, he’s got a shark!” etc etc… I haven’t been fishing as much as I’d liked since however, mainly because it’s TOO BLOODY COLD! I’m definitely going to do some deep-sea fishing malarkey in Darwin though and catch myself a WHOPPA *Australian accent*. It’s happening!


 This was the first fish I caught! I know it’s only little but you can clearly tell how happy I was!!

So, me and Stoykes (I’m aware the term is ‘Stoykes and I’ but how many Geordie’s actually say this??), we’ve practically been inseparable since she decided to move to Perth. I’m pretty much her PA and have had her taking part in lots of activities with me. We’ve ran in two runs, The 8k Gallipoli Run and the 12k HBF Run for a Reason just last weekend. I was raising money for Ruby, the 4-year-old daughter of a colleague who has Cerebral Palsy.  It was such a good day and I’m so glad we did it. The highlight of the run had to be running through the long tunnel in the city for me. I felt like I was in 28 Days Later and being chased by a load of rage infected humans! I had a stitch the whole way through the tunnel so I’m blaming my wild imagination. I loved it though and got the same buzz from doing the Great North Run last year. The next Mo Farrah.

Since being in Perth, I’ve learned how to relax more by doing what I actually enjoy, rather than sitting on my phone all night! Hence me starting this blog. I really enjoy writing and especially reminiscing. Here I am sitting at a computer, laughing out loud to myself thinking of the most stupid things that have happened. Yes, people do probably think I’m a bit of a nutter (the girl who sits and laughs at herself) but there’s nothing better than laughing, let’s be honest! I go to the gym 5 times a week and I’ve also started going to yoga too. Why have I never done it before?? I love how challenging yet relaxing it is and I’m determined to be as strong and bendy as my instructor. PMA! I’ve also started drawing again after buying a sketch book and pencils one rainy day. All because I had no credit on my phone. Therefore no internet; no Instagram, no Facebook, no Google and all of the other online apps that seem to pinch hours of your day away without you noticing. Don’t get me wrong, at the time I thought it was the end of the world and I could never cope without having a phone for a full 2 days (loser) but since then, I don’t find myself scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook or Instagram as much. It’s nice! However, I must admit that I’ve developed a little addiction to searching for pictures of drawings, yoga poses and fitness models for inspiration. I haven’t drawn since I left school 11 years ago (OMG that makes me feel sick) but I’m still pretty good at it and really love doing it on a night after work to wind down. I’m sure with a bit more practice I’ll be as good as Van Gogh and presenting my own kids TV show in no time.


Here’s a little elephant I drew…awww…

I can’t really see myself returning to Perth once I’ve left. I’ve had some good times here and made some funny memories but I feel like there’s something missing, well for me anyway. I came at the wrong time of year I think. It was lush when I got here, boiling! Sometimes too hot (God, us whingey Brits can never win)! Then all of a sudden, as if it happened over night, it turned really cold and I found myself out shopping for jumpers and tights! I also had to buy a duvet too! Pffft.. This naive little English girl did not expect this Down Under. It’s been like this for a while now so I think Perth, to me, will always be the place that turned me pale and made me question my circulation. Fremantle is definitely my favourite place here and I’m lucky to have worked here. It’s so laid back, with lush hippie and boutique shops, quirky little cafes and the weekly markets. Not to mention the variety of weird and wonderful characters here adding more charisma to the place. The place is always buzzing on a weekend and I’d definitely recommend a visit here to anyone. You get such a safe and pleasant feel. Even though it seems so long ago now, I got to visit a few of the beaches here too and there’s no denying that they are beautiful! There’s nothing better than being horizontal on a beach, topping up the tan. I’m having serious withdrawals! There is a lot to do here but you need a car and the weather aaaaand I don’t have either. Not having a car is a massive pain in the arse over here as it’s so big and it’s hard to get used to public transport again! Like why do people have to sniff ALL the time? Why is the air con still blasting in the winter? Why are the bus drivers ruthless on the brakes? Eeeee never mind!  If I return, it will have to be at the height of summer and I’ll be prepared with my own little car, factor 30 and a bikini.


So like I said, life is getting a little too ‘normal’ (and cold) here for my liking and I’m ready for the next adventure.. HELLO DARWIN!


One thought on “Now. Perth.

  1. I realised I hadn’t spoken to you in so long (sorry about that dear💙) so I thought I’d come see what you have been up to on your adventures, sounds like you’ve been fulla busy lairy! I think my favourite update was your friend face planting your bare bum haha. Unfortunately nothing remotely interesting has been occurring back home for me to report on (shock), hope you’re doing well, snogs from nadspads xxxx

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