First of all I would like to apologise for my extra cheesy title but it had to be done. Well, it’s sort of one of those soz but not soz apologies because I never use the word awesome. I think it sounds daft in my broad Geordie accent. Anywayyyy, I’m absolutely kicking myself for only just starting to write this blog now. I’ve been in Australia for 8 months already and have far too much to write about. A lot of AUSome stuff (hehe…as if I just said hehe)!
I’m not quite sure on where to begin or what to include so here’s a erm, let’s call it a brief, informal, descriptive list of occurrences to summarise the past 8 months (in no particular order)…
- I’ve sang ‘What’s Up’ by 4 Non Blondes over and over…and over…and over again on karaoke.
- I’ve lived in and drove a camper van all the way from Brisbane to Melbourne in just under two weeks (yes it’s a very long long long LONG way) with my two of my best friends, Rachael and Fran. The (not so) ‘Wicked’ van was a disgusting, pokey, old, smelly, bucket of rust with Family Guy’s very own Stuey painted on the side. Discreet! We stayed at the side of roads, in public car parks, caravan parks… Actually, the camper van trip needs a whole post dedicated to it… It’s on my list of things to write about!
- I’ve been wiped out by huge waves numerous times; thought I was going to die and returned to the surface in a panicky state with my bare boobs and bum fully out. Why did there always have to be people there?? Just my luck. It’s such a confusing time too, I never know what to do first! Do I pull my hair off my face so I can breathe? Pull my bikini bottoms up? Hide my nipples? Laugh? Cry? Nurse my knees that were grazed across the seabed? Look for my sunglasses that the wave has stolen from my face? SO CONFUSING!
- Flew a small aircraft (well I steered, that still counts) up over parts of the Sunshine Coast and Pacific Ocean seeing some unreal sights. Because of this, I’m not scared of flying now at all!
- Held a koala (typical tourist) named Barney who thought it was sound to have a poo on my dress.
- Faced my fear of heights on a sky walk, where I was nervously sweating (sexayyy), swearing and shouting ‘Eeeeee my god’ uncontrollably the whole way around. I say sky walk, it was the beginner’s course so only a couple of meters high but I’m proud anyway because after holding up several people behind me for some time, I finally made it to the end!
- I’ve noticed just how much I (well all Geordie’s really) say ‘Eeeeeeeee!’ What does it even mean??? When something gives me a fright, I shout “Eeeeee my god!” When I trip over I let out a short but higher pitched “Eee!” When I am told something I didn’t know, say I find out someone’s little sordid secret, I say “Eeeeeeee reeeeeeally?” Even dragging out the ‘eeee’ sound in the really! I have no idea why we do this but I really like it and love how people from all over the world pick up on it. I reeeeeeeally do! Eeeeeeeee!!!
- I had a erm, let’s call it an extended holiday romance…but that ended. I really do believe that people cross paths in life for a reason and that we are all meant to meet the people we do to teach us lessons and help us grow as individuals. Woaw steady Moses, I was nearly off on a deep and meaningful tangent then…
- I worked 2 jobs at one point and cycled, that’s right cycled, wearing a bonny shiny red helmet and my little black backpack sometimes as far as 11 miles a day in sweltering heat! I felt like I looked like Mr Bean. Thank god I didn’t know anyone!
- We went and sat in a park in Sydney for 12 hours waiting for the New Year fireworks off the Harbour Bridge (drunk, sober, hungover, tipsy, tired…all in 12 hours). Yes the fireworks were lovely ‘ooooh, aaaaah, eeeee that was a good one’ but I wouldn’t do it again. Ticked off the bucket list I suppose though. I’d say the highlight of this day was when I walked clean into a ticket machine in front of hundreds of people.
- I’ve done a LOT of sleep walking over here but the best moment has to be the time I was doing it in a room full of Germans in a hostel in Melbourne.
- I got mistaken for a schoolie by schoolies. Got chatted up by schoolies. Got called a MILF by schoolies. Schoolies by the way, are 17/18 year olds who have just left school and all congregate for a week in Surfers Paradise. Think of being in Magaluf/Malia when you were 18. CARNAGE!
- Twerked. *shame*
- Sobbed my heart out for a full day (even at work, how embarrassing) when Rachael told me she was going back to England. I literally cried for 9 hours non-stop and thought about every single thing I was sad about and how much I missed my family. I think I needed to cry though because I was absolutely fine the next day after getting rid of all my built up emotions. It’s hard being so far away from people you love. And from that day, I’ve been a complete softy! No regrets.
- Nearly wet myself when my best friend ‘Holly Polly’ and her boyfriend jumped out and surprised me at the airport when I arrived in Australia. Yes I did shout ‘Eeeeeee my god!’ too!
- Drove my friend all the way to Brisbane Airport from the Gold Coast at midnight to pick up his friend… only to arrive there a whole 12 hours early!
- Cut my thumb at work and was found passed out in the toilets by some lovely drunk girl. Apparently, I’m scared of the sight of my own blood now and I fainted, smashed my head off the tiled floor and knocked myself out, lying in a pool of leaking toilet water no less too. Lush!
- I thought I was going to get chinned by a stampede of kangaroos. Turns out they just heard their dinner bell ringing.
- I went on a Buddhist meditation course and realised just how solid it is to meditate and think of nothing. I’m getting there now though! I’ve also started going to yoga too which really helps me relax. Namaste.
- I spent a very different but amazing Christmas Day in the blazing sun with friends. After buying lots of food for the BBQ, I ended up eating just half a burger but drinking endless amounts of vodka (inevitable really). Ah well, at least Rachael made us a posh Christmas breakfast of beans, bacon, eggs and bubbly. So posh.
- I’ve listened (and sang along) to more Celine Dion with my Aussie wife Rachael than any other people in this world. Believe iz!!
- I’ve had the best days ever lying on the beach on my own with nothing but my music or a book for company. Lying there listening to Christmas songs at Christmas has to be one of my best beach feelings.
- I went sailing and couldn’t speak the whole time for the fear of spewing. Serious sea sickness! Hated every minute.
- I realised that, after saying it for about a month, the 35c (bargain) ice-creams in McDonalds are actually called ‘soft serve’ not ‘soft surf’. They are also nation-wide and not just sold in Surfers Paradise, hence me calling them ‘soft surfs’.
- On my first surfing lesson (well my only surfing lesson), I was smashed in the face by my surf board and almost passed out. Luckily I only ended up with a fat lip. And a swollen wrist. And a bruised knee. I just don’t think the Australian waves like me.
Dear me I think I need to stop writing. Like I said, I have far too much to write about and the more I’m writing, the more memories are coming back to me. STOP LAURIE!! This doesn’t even cover a smidgen of what’s happened here, so I guess I might save some more for another post…